I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I would fuck him just for his dog
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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