we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
