it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
