But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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