Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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