oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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