..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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