he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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