I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
