We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
