are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
