Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
