Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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