Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
