Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
