Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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