It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
