my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you win again, gameday.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
