When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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