Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
