We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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