I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
