Kiss
Puke
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize