So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
