operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
