is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
