Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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