Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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