Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
