I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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