Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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