it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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