Are we in a gay sports bar?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
