hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
