I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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