Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
