I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
