after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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