Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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