around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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