Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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