I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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