yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
