I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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