i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
