still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
