Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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