the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
