Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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