the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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