remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
