One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I want her autograph on my taint
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
