3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
