shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
True strength comes from lack of pants
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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